Dr. James Delisle and two former students
Dr. James Delisle: Insights for Parents of Gifted Children
By Lisa Lambert, M. A. '05
Overexcitable, perfectionist, goal-oriented, underachiever — all of these adjectives and more are used to describe (and label) gifted children. But Kent State professor, middle school teacher and author Dr. James Delisle describes giftedness as an inherent quality, one that is best recognized and understood by parents. When Delisle set out to write a book on the topic of parenting gifted children, he did so hoping to inspire parents to reexamine the way they perceive their child’s intelligence and challenges. The following are some insights adapted from Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children.
Understanding a child’s giftedness
Giftedness may or may not show itself in high achievement. Rather, it is “a greater awareness, a greater sensitivity, and a greater ability to understand and transform perceptions into intellectual and emotional experiences,” according to Annemarie Roeper, a pioneer in the field of gifted education. However, the definitions of giftedness embraced by schools often are reduced to IQ and test scores. Because gifted children have interests that are often different from their peers, which can lead to social isolation, it is up to parents to talk to their children about what giftedness means.
Working with the school system
Federal legislation and state-level mandates are designed to ensure each child achieves minimum competency in subjects including math, composition and reading. Depending upon the school district, gifted education programs range from nonexistent to exceptional to everything in between — hardly a level playing field. That’s why it is essential for parents to become advocates for their children. Before approaching the school, keep in mind that teachers are not in the classroom to alienate students from the learning process. Rather than request a specific teacher for your child, talk to the administration about how your child learns best; this approach will allow your child’s learning style to be matched with a complementary teaching style. If your child has announced that he or she is “bored” or “not challenged,” delve into the details: Is the work too easy, too difficult, not of personal interest, etc.? Dissecting the situation beyond vague terms will allow you and the teacher to develop solutions that address your child’s individual needs.
Examining overexcitabilities
Gifted people see the world from a different vantage point. Often, when gifted children exhibit characteristic intensity of intellect or emotion, they are asked to dampen their enthusiasm, quiet their minds and see things in more typical ways. These inherent traits, or overexcitabilities, make the gifted individual’s experience in the world unique. Overexcitabilities take many forms: psychomotor (surplus of physical energy), sensual (fine-tuned sensory system), intellectual (curious, constantly mentally alert, driven to absorb any new idea), imaginational (creative, mature sense of humor) and emotional (intense positive and negative feelings, awareness of the emotions of others, feelings of guilt and shame over being unable to control events that impact others negatively, capacity to develop strong attachments and deep relationships).
“It’s very easy to see our kids in the future tense, rather than the present tense. With gifted kids, it’s easy to lose sight of who they are today, because they have so much that’s future-oriented in their lives,” Delisle says. “I want parents to get to know their kids and appreciate them for who they are right now. Losing sight of that can bring on some of the stress and pressures gifted kids face. The best way we can prepare our kids for the future is to enjoy who they are today and appreciate what they bring to every morning when they wake up.”
Learn more about teaching the gifted: read "No Child Left Unchallenged: Engaging the Gifted Child," from the Spring 2008 issue of Kent State Magazine.
